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Timothy Ward IS Hotter Than YouInspiration for the articles I write does not always come instantly. That's why I spend hours upon hours each day surfing the internet and visiting various websites. This may sound like time wasted or goofing off but I assure you that I am working. While some writers find that long walks or exercise help them to invoke the muse, I've found that cruising along through cyberspace with no particular place to go helps to stimulate that corner of my brain that holds great ideas. Sometimes when I need a little more stimulation I even go as far as drinking a few Bud Lights. The things I do to please my readers...One of my favorite websites to visit when I've had a few beers is HotorNot.com. If you haven't heard of HotorNot.com then I suggest you click over there real quick and check it out. I'm far too buzzed to go into a detailed description right now. I'll pause while everyone clicks over. (PAUSE) Ok! Is everyone back? Good! And now that we all know what HotorNot.com is all about I can continue with my ranting. I like HotorNot.com because it allows me to look at women without the risk of them calling me a 'pervert' or 'freak'. In fact I can stare at the women on HotorNot.com as long as I want and none of them will call me a psychpath, or worse, call the police. I also love the fact that I get to rate the women after I've finished oogling over them. Any man will tell you that this is basically what we do anyway. We look at a women and then we rate her in our heads. Of course our rating scale is not so much 'from one to ten' as it is 'would I sleep with her or not', but it's essentially the same concept. I hate the pictures of woman that have men in them as well. I find it hard to rate a women if she has her boyfriend standing there next to her. If I give her a 9 does that mean that he gets a 9 as well? I may not think that he is a 9. Not that I'm judging men. But then again maybe I am. I'm not gay or anything but I know an ugly man when I see one. But that doesn't mean I'm comfortable rating them. I finally got up the nerve to put my picture on HotorNot.com. Actually, it wasn't so much getting up the nerve as it was getting up the money to get my picture developed onto a CD so that I could upload it. I'm an admitted cheapskate and even though it only cost $2.82 I still had to work the added expense into the budget. Now that my pictures online I wake up every morning and check my stats to see hat rating people are giving me. Today when I checked I was up to a 7.2! That means that I am hotter than 69% of the men on the site! At least that what it says on my statistics page. That means that for every 100 males that post their pctures on Hotornot.com only 31 of them can do as good as me in the looks department. I'll be sure to bring that up at my 10 year high school reunion. Every one else may have great careers as doctors, lawyers, mystery shoppers, et cetera, but has all of cyberspace voted them into the 'Top 35 Percentile of Hotness'. I think not. You can click here: http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=ERELALO&key=HNY to rate my picture. However, I warn you that I have contacts in the Russian underworld and I'd hate to have to send the Gormanilov brothers after you because you gave me a 4 or below. I might be just a tad bit biased but I think I'm easily a 8. Then again that may just be the liquid stimulation talking... About the author: Timothy Ward has decided to go on a hunger strike until his humor column, 'I Never Said I Was Normal', reaches 1000 subscribers. You can help him out by visiting http://timward.1afm.comand signing up. Please hurry, his ribs are already starting to show. Circulated by Article Emporium Timothy Ward IS Hotter Than You Inspiration for the articles I write does not always come instantly. That's why I spend hours upon hours each day surfing the internet and visiting various websites. This may sound like time wasted or goofing off but I assure you that I am working. While some writers find that long... A little history on the Comic Strip. A little history on the Comic Strip. Elements of the comic strip form can be found in antiquity, where Vergil in the Aeneid describes a tapestry that retraces the events of the Trojan War. The Bayeux tapestry, from the Middle Ages, retraces the hostilities leading ... 25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, there are definitely many other uses for a welding helmet. A welding helmet is a very practical that should be found in every home. Here are just a few ways you might find yourself in need of a w... Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill. She weighs 9,100 pounds and does not get enough exercise, especially during the long Alaskan win... Things to Say to Make a Woman Laugh Well if all men knew the things to say to make women laugh, this world would then be called Utopia :-). The birds would be singing once again, the sun would be shining, and if my wife knew what I was writing right now in this article, she would probably slap me on the back of my he... Too Many Cats? Too Many Cats? By Kathie Freeman Cats are becoming increasingly popular as pets these days, and a big question is, how many cats should a family have? For some people, one is more than enough, others have half a dozen or more. Here are some sure- f... My Pride of Barbados (To my future wife) Flowers. Only God knows how the world would have been without them. Perhaps colorless. Therefore the Great Artist seeing how unbeautiful the earth would have looked like in the absence of these plants, decided to add them as a finishing stroke in h... Under A Cuban Moon HAVANA,May 20 (www.cubanet.org) - Cuban authorities have implemented strict security measures at the embarkation points for the small ferries crossing Havana bay.Now, before boarding, all passengers must go through a metal detector. Newly posted signs warn passengers they can't car... Timothy Ward IS Hotter Than You Inspiration for the articles I write does not always come instantly. That's why I spend hours upon hours each day surfing the internet and visiting various websites. This may sound like time wasted or goofing off but I assure you that I am working. While some writers find that long... Fashion and the Fisherman. Fashion and The Fisherman. The one thing I have always enjoyed about fishing is that you rarely see anyone wearing a tie. I suppose there is the occasional urban lunchtime warrior who might race from his cubicle to the Hudson river to get a few casts in for some ... Flower Pictures - A Mild Obsession #1 What does one need to do to get the perfect close-up of a wild flower? Set up a tripod, clip on camera, then snap, snap it's in the bag, camera, chip.. whatever? Maybe... but consider a few unexpected impediments first. Finding the perfect clump of subjects (mostly the easy part), ... Bad Breath Love Sure...I loved her. She was smart, attractive, polite and a total demon in the sack. Unfortunately, the perfection ended there. So what's the problem, you ask? Simple...she had a garbage mouth. No, I don't mean she cursed like a sailor, I mean her mouth literally smelled like ... My Pride of Barbados (To my future wife) Flowers. Only God knows how the world would have been without them. Perhaps colorless. Therefore the Great Artist seeing how unbeautiful the earth would have looked like in the absence of these plants, decided to add them as a finishing stroke in h... The Finer Points of Poverty I'm poor. And I'm not ashamed of it. Actually, I'm kind of proud of myself for being poor. It's an accomplishment that many people will never attain. Some people will go through their whole life and never know what it's like to experience some of the finer points of poverty like ea... Bathroom Palacial -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bathroom Palacial By John Sammon I had to play a joke on the maid at a hotel where I was staying. You know that little paper wrapper they place over the toi...
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