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Bad Breath LoveSure...I loved her. She was smart, attractive, polite and a total demon in the sack. Unfortunately, the perfection ended there. So what's the problem, you ask? Simple...she had a garbage mouth. No, I don't mean she cursed like a sailor, I mean her mouth literally smelled like garbage. Beauty can hide a great many things, but it can't mask bad breath. Those sweet nothings whispered late at night into one's ear aren't nearly so sweet when it smells like you are lying in a dumpster. B.O. I could have handled. She was that beautiful. An uneven temperament would have been acceptable considering all her other great qualities. Even a Cindy Crawford "beauty mark" (known to us common folk as a mole) with three long hairs hanging off of it would probably not have deterred my affection. Bad breath, however, is something I can't stomach. I often wondered, "how can she not know?". It wasn't as though she had a little problem. This was the kind of bad breath that showed itself in a brightly lit room. I could swear that after a half-hour makeout session, my face would stink. There's really no way to handle a situation such as this. I tried the old, "I've got gum, would you like a stick?", but to no avail. My next option was, "I've got a toothbrush, some floss and a bottle of Listerine...care to give it a try?" but luckily it never got that far. She could sense that something wasn't right between us. Maybe it was the way I winced whenever she spoke to me. Maybe it was the way I avoided being close to her face. Maybe it was the welder's mask I wore on our last date. I can't be certain, but I do know that it relieved me to no end when she told me it just wasn't working out between us.It relieved me even more that she told me over the phone. About the author: A BadBreathOGram is an e-mail you send to someone who you want to know has bad breath but you do not want to confront directly. Give it a try. http://www.badbreathogram.com/ Circulated by Article Emporium Timothy Ward IS Hotter Than You Inspiration for the articles I write does not always come instantly. That's why I spend hours upon hours each day surfing the internet and visiting various websites. This may sound like time wasted or goofing off but I assure you that I am working. While some writers find that long... A little history on the Comic Strip. A little history on the Comic Strip. Elements of the comic strip form can be found in antiquity, where Vergil in the Aeneid describes a tapestry that retraces the events of the Trojan War. The Bayeux tapestry, from the Middle Ages, retraces the hostilities leading ... 25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, there are definitely many other uses for a welding helmet. A welding helmet is a very practical that should be found in every home. Here are just a few ways you might find yourself in need of a w... Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill. She weighs 9,100 pounds and does not get enough exercise, especially during the long Alaskan win... Things to Say to Make a Woman Laugh Well if all men knew the things to say to make women laugh, this world would then be called Utopia :-). The birds would be singing once again, the sun would be shining, and if my wife knew what I was writing right now in this article, she would probably slap me on the back of my he... Too Many Cats? Too Many Cats? By Kathie Freeman Cats are becoming increasingly popular as pets these days, and a big question is, how many cats should a family have? For some people, one is more than enough, others have half a dozen or more. Here are some sure- f... My Pride of Barbados (To my future wife) Flowers. Only God knows how the world would have been without them. Perhaps colorless. Therefore the Great Artist seeing how unbeautiful the earth would have looked like in the absence of these plants, decided to add them as a finishing stroke in h... Under A Cuban Moon HAVANA,May 20 (www.cubanet.org) - Cuban authorities have implemented strict security measures at the embarkation points for the small ferries crossing Havana bay.Now, before boarding, all passengers must go through a metal detector. Newly posted signs warn passengers they can't car... Timothy Ward IS Hotter Than You Inspiration for the articles I write does not always come instantly. That's why I spend hours upon hours each day surfing the internet and visiting various websites. This may sound like time wasted or goofing off but I assure you that I am working. While some writers find that long... Fashion and the Fisherman. Fashion and The Fisherman. The one thing I have always enjoyed about fishing is that you rarely see anyone wearing a tie. I suppose there is the occasional urban lunchtime warrior who might race from his cubicle to the Hudson river to get a few casts in for some ... Flower Pictures - A Mild Obsession #1 What does one need to do to get the perfect close-up of a wild flower? Set up a tripod, clip on camera, then snap, snap it's in the bag, camera, chip.. whatever? Maybe... but consider a few unexpected impediments first. Finding the perfect clump of subjects (mostly the easy part), ... Bad Breath Love Sure...I loved her. She was smart, attractive, polite and a total demon in the sack. Unfortunately, the perfection ended there. So what's the problem, you ask? Simple...she had a garbage mouth. No, I don't mean she cursed like a sailor, I mean her mouth literally smelled like ... My Pride of Barbados (To my future wife) Flowers. Only God knows how the world would have been without them. Perhaps colorless. Therefore the Great Artist seeing how unbeautiful the earth would have looked like in the absence of these plants, decided to add them as a finishing stroke in h... The Finer Points of Poverty I'm poor. And I'm not ashamed of it. Actually, I'm kind of proud of myself for being poor. It's an accomplishment that many people will never attain. Some people will go through their whole life and never know what it's like to experience some of the finer points of poverty like ea... Bathroom Palacial -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bathroom Palacial By John Sammon I had to play a joke on the maid at a hotel where I was staying. You know that little paper wrapper they place over the toi...
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